Letters To A Young Leader:
A relationship that grows
15/11/11 15:00 View entire series at:
Letters To A Young Leader
Letters to a young leader is a series of leadership mentoring advice. It is written by Vic Francis who is the Chairman of the VCANZ board. Vic and his wife, Fran, pastor Shore Vineyards in Auckland and have four children.
A relationship that grows
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“Just as we cannot love without having had the experience of being loved,
so we cannot bring the water of life to others if our own spiritual well is dry.
This means we have to be intentional about finding opportunities for spiritual growth.”
Lawrence Farris
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I don’t have quiet times any more. There, I’ve confessed. It’s now public knowledge.
When I was a new Christian, quiet times were life-changing. The regular discipline of Bible reading and prayer filled my tank and inspired me day-by-day to live for Christ.
But over the years these times dried up as the Bible became less inspirational, probably because I had come to know it quite well, and my prayers became formulaic and dull. Eventually, despite some guilt, my quiet times slipped away. John Calvin wrote that “Our religion will be unprofitable if it does not change our heart, pervade our manners and transform us into new creatures.” Quiet times were no longer changing my heart, and so it was time for them to go.
But while quiet times are now a thing of the past for me, my relationship with Jesus is again growing stronger day by day. These days I don’t often read large chunks of the Bible, but I reflect more deeply on smaller passages. I pray less, but listen more; I strive less, but trust more; I know less, but am closer to the one who knows more.
And I don’t feel guilty about it.
I’ve been married to Fran for nearly 30 years. Over that time our lives have changed hugely – five pregnancies, four children, three births (figure that one out!), plus three churches, mortgages and life’s many adventures, do that to you. Our relationship has changed too – less intense and more secure; less striving and more content; less independent and more mutual. Relationships are like that. Unless they adapt from their early difficult-to-breathe stage, someone is going to burn out.
In a similar way, our relationship with God also has to evolve. Fran, a spiritual director, has great advice for people who have lost connection with God. “Are you still doing the things that used draw you close to him?” she will ask. If not, then resume those things and you will probably rediscover that precious relationship. But if you are continuing to do the things that used to work and are discovering they don’t any more, maybe God is inviting you into a new depth of relationship with new ways of growing in your love.
Bernard of Clairvaux in his famous sermons on the Song of Solomon identified this progression of relationship with God as going from the kiss of the feet to the kiss of the hands to the kiss of the mouth. Sixteenth-century Spanish saint Teresa of Avila, in her book The Interior Castle, wrote of an internal journey towards the centre of our being where Jesus lives.
Whatever language or imagery you use, we must continually seek new depths with God. And for pastors, whose lives are ones of regular depletion, this growing relationship is doubly vital.
Next entry: God loves people more than you do
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Tags: Vic Francis, Quiet Time, John Calvin, Leadership, Mentoring
