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It's all in the mind:
How to help

24/10/11 06:00 View entire series at: It's All In The Mind
It'-All-In-The-Mind

It’s All In The Mind is a series of helping tools for doing pastoral care with people suffering from mental illness. It is written by Kirk Vette from Shore Vineyards Churches, who is a clinical worker for YouthLine NZ. Kirk and his wife, Caroline, live in Auckland with their three children and on his day's off you will find him sneaking off for a surf.

Depression - How to help

To be fair helping a person with depression is not an easy task.

Rule number one from my experience in working with depressed people. The hardest part of working with people with depression is watching them struggle. Don’t get caught in trying to rescue the person. Their low mood, despair and misery can draw a person in who cares and wants to help. I have learnt that this time will pass once they get the help, encouragement, support that they need.

Number two don’t be afraid to refer to a doctor and counselor, if the person is significantly low and fits the criteria above or you are just simply concerned for them get advice from another professional. The sooner help is sort and action taken the less severe the depression will get. Working back from severe depression can be a tough thing to do.

Three would be from a preventative view point; you can only be of assistance when you are in a good place yourself. Make sure you have plenty of the fun, exercise, good sleep and healthy diet. Take a long term view to your work and give yourself the breaks and stress relief that you need so that you don’t burn out.

I have quoted the following “How to talk to a loved one about depression” from this website, it says it very well.

Sometimes it is hard to know what to say or where to start when speaking to a loved one about depression. You might fear that if you bring up your worries he or she will get angry, feel insulted, or ignore your concerns. You may be unsure what questions to ask or how to be supportive. Try using some of these suggestions to guide your conversation.

Ways to start the conversation:
  • I have been feeling concerned about you lately.
  • Recently, I have noticed some differences in you and wondered how you are doing.
  • I wanted to check in with you because you have seemed pretty down lately.
Questions you can ask:
  • When did you begin feeling like this?
  • Did something happen that made you start feeling this way?
  • How can I best support you right now?
  • Do you ever feel so bad that you don’t want to be anymore?
  • Have you thought about getting help?
Remember, being supportive involves offering encouragement and hope. Very often, this is a matter of talking to the person in language that he or she will understand and respond to while in a depressed mind frame.

What you can say that helps:
  • You are not alone in this. I’m here for you.
  • You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change.
  • I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.
  • When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold of for just one more day, hour, minute — whatever you can manage.
  • You are important to me. Your life is important to me.
  • Tell me what I can do now to help you.
Next week, I will state some things to avoid - this entry has gotten too long so come back then!

Next entry: Things to avoid
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